Toby Rudolf is lying in bed in Amsterdam unable to walk and pondering his future.
A post-season holiday to Europe has quickly been derailed by the return of a crippling toe injury that plagued his 2023 NRL campaign.
It wasn't what he had in mind when he departed Australia determined to put a frustrating year behind him and refresh before returning for pre-season training.
But the situation did give Rudolf the mental clarity he was seeking. Something had to change.
"I was needling to get through games, I couldn't train all week, I was just throwing the boots on and having a throw at the stumps when the weekend rolled around," Rudolf said.
"I wasn't meant to get surgery and I couldn't see a way out. I was thinking what am I going to change, how can I go from bedridden after just walking to doing a pre-season and playing a full season?"
Toby Rudolf Try
Fast forward 10 months and the prop has overhauled his lifestyle and training regime. Rudolf has given up alcohol, made rugby league his No.1 priority, stopped wearing his beloved Birkenstocks and even turned to the Australian Ballet for tips on how to recover from the debilitating bout of turf toe.
The new approach has paid off, the 28-year-old steadily building throughout the season and now in some of the best form of his career ahead of Saturday's preliminary final.
Rudolf ran for a season-high 160 metres to set the tone up front in last week's semi-final victory over the Cowboys and he's determined to produce a repeat performance with a grand final berth on the line this weekend against the Panthers.
Match: Panthers v Sharks
Finals Week 3 -
home Team
Panthers
2nd Position
away Team
Sharks
4th Position
Venue: Accor Stadium, Sydney
"It took me a long time to get up and running," he said. "The first half of the year was probably the worst football I've played.
"I had to change some things. I've stayed off the drink, I've made sure I'm doing the little things right and it took a long time to pay dividends. [Coach Craig Fitzgibbon] to his credit showed faith in me throughout this entire campaign.
"I'm glad I can show some faith back and put a performance together for him and the team."
Rudolf has long been one of the biggest characters in the NRL, but he is determined to be remembered as more than just a larrikin.
While he remains an outgoing personality eager to have a laugh with fans and teammates, he also possesses a steely resolve underneath the public bravado.
Sharks forward Teig Wilton has developed into one of Rudolf's closest friends and watched first-hand as the prop struggled mentally and physically on and off the field.
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Now he's come out the other side, Wilton is excited to watch his teammate take it to a Panthers pack loaded with representative talent on Saturday night.
"Everyone who knows Toby knows he's a good lad," Wilton told pan66.com. "He's great to have around. He's a larrikin but he's showed maturity as he's gotten older.
"He's putting footy first and putting the team first. It's no easy feat to get over the injuries he had. It was touch and go for a period there but he's reaping the rewards of his sacrifices."
Rudolf may be playing the best football of his career but it hasn't all been smooth sailing this year.
The lengthy recovery from the toe injury restricted his training load during the pre-season and he started the NRL campaign underdone.
A little bit of everything in the Red Zone from the Sharks
A knee injury further hampered his progress and Fitzgibbon dropped him to reserve grade for a week after he gave away a costly penalty in the Sharks' Round 17 loss to the Bulldogs.
Rudolf responded to the situation the only way he knows, doubling down and working his way the rough patch on the training paddock.
It was exactly the reaction Fitzgibbon wanted and he praised the prop for turning his season around.
"He had a difficult period, him and Braden Hamlin-Uele," Fitzgibbon said. "They missed pre-season but Toby's had a lot more work in him than Braden.
"For Toby with that toe injury he had to overcome, he's put a lot of work into himself. He's been more professional, he's been working hard and now we're starting to see the dividends of the work he's had to put in."
Rudolf and the Sharks may have benefited from his improved performances in recent months but the ultimate dividend is still two weeks away.
Cronulla know they must be at their best to topple the three-time defending premiers at Accor Stadium on Saturday night.
Rudolf, however, is yet to see a challenge he hasn't faced head on and it will be no different this weekend.
"We can go with the best teams and we deserve to be here," he said.
"We've always been able to attack, to shift the ball and play pretty but competitions are won through defensive resilience. We've got that in our back pocket now.
"I'll put my best foot forward, I'll prepare like I have all year and make the right decisions like I have been doing and that's all I can do."
